stories of lack and lavish love
I walk empty streets a few blocks from my home to sit on a funny wooden bench tilted back and shaped like a barrel at my daughter’s school. The seat is angled so my feet dangle off the ground. It makes me feel small, younger than I feel most days. The bench is in a garden recently weeded of tall bushes of lavender and mint that were growing out of control. It is calm here. Quiet. I swing my feet.
The sun is warm on my skin, the air a blanket of fragrance the breeze breathes this way and that. I let it cover me, drape over my shoulders and face and neck. I imagine the scents of heaven–of flowers and water and earth and rock. A biting sweetness. A fragrance of a million colors, a million voices composing one song.
My heart knows this song. And in this extravagance of beauty–of light and color and spring–I feel my heart pose a question: What if, right now, I lack nothing and live as if I believe it?
What if we lived believing we have everything we need? Even in our pain. Even in our discomfort. What if our view of our present circumstances, no matter what those circumstances are, has the power to propel us toward hope rather than despair?
The mindset of lack is dangerous. It produces fear, and it keeps the focus on ourselves rather than on what is true.
What is it we believe we lack? Personality? Beauty? Peace? Money? Good health? Fresh air? Love? Friendship? Joy?
When I remember that Jesus never felt fear–His trust and hope were completely in His Father–I remember He also never felt lack. God held nothing from Him. All His love. All His power. All His hope. All His joy. And Jesus knew it.
What I forget, by my attitude of wanting to trust in my own strength rather than in God, is that through the gift of Holy Spirit, God gives us these things too. In Him, we lack nothing.
Jesus prays, in the presence of the disciples:
“I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word; that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.
John 17:20-22
Living with an attitude of lack produces fear. Living with an attitude of love produces fruit we are desperate for: “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23).
Here are questions I want to ask myself: Is my mindset one of lack or of plenty? Do I believe I have everything I need, despite my circumstances? Even if there are things that bring me sorrow? Even if there are things I wish were different? What do I believe I lack when things feel like they are not going my way? Do I believe God is holding out on me? Do I believe He isn’t enough?
Share a few words, in the comments below, describing your thoughts about the mindsets of lack or of love. And consider joining the kind poets of the Loop Poetry Project community this week and write a poem on one of these mindsets.
Share a story, flesh out a conviction. Use images to describe your mindset of lack versus a mindset of abundance. Talk about fear, worry, anxiety. Have a conversation with your heart and share it here. Listen close–praying for deeper awareness of your convictions as you write.
And then share your poem here, below, or in the Loop Poetry Project private Facebook group, or on social media, using the hashtag #looppoetryproject. I can’t wait to read what you write!
joining with you in hope,
jennifer
*Here is a great resource you might want to check out: an on-line class I am taking with friends, taught by Jan Johnson, on ‘Living Without Lack.” A lot of my thoughts here were inspired by Johnson’s teaching–combined with the conversations about lack and fear that I’ve been having on Zoom, with dear friends!
Tell me your stories beginning
with the day you were born
and I am not talking about your physical birth,
the moment your wet body slid from
your mother’s womb—
but the moment you realized you were alive,
(whether or not you were wanted
whether or not you were held in trembling arms
a magical miracle of soft skin and boisterous cries),
but the moment you walked right out your door
beating heart and all
and realized there was no place you could ever go
where love
wouldn’t follow you, swallow, you, turn
you inside out so you were always new and
dazzling and beautiful.
And this happens
every day, each birth: this being ravished
by a love that takes everything—
each birth a death more painful and
perfect than the one before.
There is no more crawling now.
No halfway/slipshod wondering
about your purpose
or your talents or if you are worth
much of anything at all
for you can’t be measured now,
your broken places sewen up with needles
or patched up with glue.
You are what freedom is,
bright star blazing blazing
fearless and wanted by you.
jennifer j. camp
14 Comments
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I feel I was born on February 13 this year. I felt joy mentioned in the book of James. I felt such joy in my heart that no matter what I get to spend eternity with Jesus. That would be my lavish love. He keeps rescuing me, he even holds me at night until I fall asleep. I am His and He is mine.
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Brenda, we need this so much, don’t we? This constant rescuing and love? So amazing how He gives this. Bless you. Thank you so much for sharing here.
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This topic is something Ive been thinking about lately. Thinking about Gods abundance vs our mindset of not enough..sx
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Hi, Susan! I am so grateful for this wisdom.–our invitation to practice awareness of how our mindset has such power to turn toward what is true and what is not.
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My stomach is churning, I feel nervous and apprehensive about starting another day.I long to feel your warm in brace Lord, sometimes like now I feel you are too far away and I can’t reach you. So I’m alone in my thoughts and worries. I have everything I need and more, so why do I feel so edgy and nervous and tense. Why can’t I let you take the reins and lead me on, instead of holding back like a nervous child on her first day in school, wanting to stay at home where I feel safe, loved, and care for, Is the world such a frightening place? I should be happy content and feel loved where ever I am because you are with me but still my stomach churns
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Janet, your words here speak to the deeper place in many hearts. Thank you. Bless you. Praying for our complete surrender and trust in HIm–and praising Him for the peace that comes when we do.
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“When I was asleep”
I’ve always wanted more. More of anything and more of everything. Undeniably unsatisfied. Nothing was good enough and there was never enough. I would plot and plan until I got what I wanted and then as soon as I had it, the search began for more of it or more of something new. My rest never came. It was a constant shuffle of restless desire for more. I ne’ver saw what I had. Or what was right in front of me Only what I didn’t have. The glass was always half empty.
“Awake today”
Jesus saved me and filled my heart. The holes in my soul That I felt so deeply before are filled with wholesome love now. Filled with His love. My ongoing search stopped. Now I only look for God. I know with all my heart that He is all that I need. My soul now has morals and values so strong rhat no one can bend my heart in the wrong way anymore. I will notice. God tugs on my heart and helps me notice deception now. My life and my soul have been saved and shown the way. I only lack what I don’t see right in front of me. But I always know He is here
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When I feel the lack, and fear …..that yearning for more of a life. I close my eyes , focus on my breathing and feel the spirit of God within me. I feel peace and know that everything is how it should be at the moment. I hear the birds, feel the sunshine, and see beauty in nature. I know that God is providing for me what I need now and is guiding me to what he has planned for me. I need to be patient and listen for his whispers.
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Dear Jayne, this is so beautiful. Yes, we have this choice to turn toward Him, and He gives us everything, everything we need and more. Our cups run over. Thank you for this beautiful picture of surrender and trust and love and the amazing fruit that comes from it.
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I know, I know God loves me and He is good to me. Tender hearted and gentle b with me. But on this day, after several weeks in lockdown I awoke ever so slightly agitated, anxious even.
Will this not knowing end? When? Soon I hope. Because today, even though I know deep in my heart that God takes care of me and my needs. Today, I stumbled, I hesitated…I looked to the lack and my mind spiralled down a rabbit hole that was a difficult climb back out to the light…the truth. And then I struggled with the guilt of wollowing in self; self pity, self absorption, even. I reached deep into the silence of prayer and I listened for the soothing quiteness of God’s presence.
And so I walked and walked, letting the sun warm my face, listening to the chatter of happy children and I heard Him ever so gently in the breeze. I knew then like yesterday that God is near, always is.
I smile at the end of the day, exhausted and ready to start afresh tomorrow knowing that to draw closer to God I must surrender my mind.
Take captive my mind dear God that I may look to you in all circumstances.
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Jean I love how you said “Take captive my mind dear God that I may look to you in all circumstances.” I have to always remember to give not just my circumstances over to God but to surrender my thoughts to Him as well. Thank you for this
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It is awakening to me, how God speaks. I’m sorry if this is long, but I have been praying these past weeks for the Heart of God, and the Mindset of Chris, now I’m reading here about the mind set on Chris, I love how he reveals things to us. I confess tho I struggle with the mind games the enemy plays with me, I know we all go through it. I pray and ask to have more of Him, to have a strong believing faith, I know the father is real, I am weary of the battle. I am a believer in a family of not sure to say unbelievers, or pray to God when things get rough then go there own way, they have not given their lives to Jesus, YET, I still have hope, but I struggle with physical issues along with emotional issues, due to an alcoholic husband, whose negatively wears me down. Amoung other things, but I know the Lord is real and his abundance to give me what I need instead of what I want at this time provides me and is teaching me to let go and look to the God who provides for me. I have to trust God, although it is difficult, I need to heal emotionally and it is happening from God alone, I wish my thinking was more positive and could truly believe and just let God have it all because he can handle it all not me.
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Dear Kim, yes, He is with you. He will never leave you. I am praying now for His presence to fill your home and give you strength. He is enough for you. He is abundant in His love and has good plans for you and for your family. Praying we can keep our eyes on Him and His truth, His goodness and hope. You are held by Him, His love for you astounding. Here are a message and exercise that might be helpful that Justin, my husband, and I recorded: https://www.rushpodcast.com/how-to-be-free-from-all-worry-and-anxiety/ Bless you, His dear one.
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I wake each day praying this isolation is over, BUT, then I think on the simpler, unhurried life I am living. I have what I need, I have sisters in Christ who sharpen me and also who give me joy. I have grandsons who look to me to be their calm Nan who encourages them and cares for them. I have a daughter, salon owner, who is closed and who’s employees have no income. Then the benefits arrive and they too, are cared for. Coincidence? No way! God takes care of all of us. My daughter, so needed this rest! I’ve watched countless podcasts from numerous pastors who have been a calm faith filled voice during this time. My relationship with Christ is maturing, so thankful for that. I choose to see the glass half full, this has happened over time, I’ve been so fearful and anxious for years, BUT God.