RESCUE FROM SELF-CONTEMPT

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er eyes are big, gentle and kind. Then she plays. Her fingers upon keys, her body dancing, her voice singing out. In her words, her glory–I glimpse the more that is here. But later she tells me she doesn’t see it. Her beauty. Her value.

She feels displaced, separate from the exquisiteness of her own soul. Even while she creates beauty, and is loved, so loved, here.

Our hearts can struggle to claim glory we can’t see.  Who we are–what we create, how we love–feels separate from the representation of ourselves most familiar: failure, weakness, isolation, lack of hope.

God, why do we feel displaced from our own selves, our own lives?

She asks me questions, and I listen and do my best to respond. About community. About connection. About offering one’s heart to trusting people. About how to be comfortable searching for our own self. And oh, how this can be so difficult to do.

Oh, girl, I know.

When we have contempt for ourselves, we lose the self we may have fought, for so many years, to reclaim. Even after victory through surrender, freedom through fire, life through death. For self-contempt makes us not recognize our true selves. We don’t connect with the glory in the daughter God sees.

We seek God’s voice, but we feel detached from His words. We listen for Him, and we disbelieve what He says.

Self-contempt is a battle some of us fight daily. The beauty God sees in us we reject. This daughter God loves then feels like a vision. A specter of imagination. A dream. We don’t know her. We don’t trust her. And so we struggle to accept God’s love for her too.

Life? Freedom? Joy?

Come on soul, rise up. Rise up. You are forgetting who you are.

Sisters, let’s not stay here.

So, in the dark, we ask God to strip layers of doubt, of pain, of fear. In our loneliness, we ask God to show us His face. In His face, we find the daughter God loves. But how we do trust her? How do we love her? God, how do we end this feeling of displacement from our hearts? How do we live content, joy-filled, free?

I come to the weary places. I come to the desolate places. I bring light in darkness, song in silence, warmth in cold. How do you believe that I am good? How do you believe that I am here? How do you believe that I have more for you? How do you let me connect what is displaced, worn out, rejected, isolated, sad?

It is so simple, my dear one. Come to Me. It is not complicated, my shining one. Come close, I am right here. Time with Me cleanses you of sorrow. Time with Me heals your doubting, timid heart.

You are more than okay. I will teach you how to believe in what I see. I will teach you how to trust what I see, what I say, more than what you see and what you hear, on your own. Stay close to Me now. Chase me down. Let Me catch you. I want to catch you. So let yourself fall first. I’m right here. It won’t hurt, in my arms, when you fall.

Father, come. Your girl needs rescuing again.

Sister, how is your heart? Do you believe your Father adores you? Do you trust His character? Do you know the version of you that He knows? Is that someone you’d like to come to know more?

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Come on soul, rise up. Remember who you are.
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Showing 26 comments
  • Cathy
    Reply

    I really needed to read this ❤️❤️
    Thank you Jennifer.
    God bless you Jennifer

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      You are so welcome, Cathy. I was writing right to myself, too. sister. Bless you, too!

  • Vicki
    Reply

    “Time with Me cleanses … heals …”

    This. Needing this so much today! First the healing … then the cleansing.

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Yes, praying now for His healing, Vicki. So happy to see you here.

  • Joann Martin
    Reply

    So needing to hear this today after a Thanksgiving not spent with any family and believing I am the only one this happens to.

    • Brandy
      Reply

      You are not the only one. I can relate. I didn’t spend time with family for Thanksgiving either and I’ve been so down about it. It was no accident or coincidence being led here today. Really needed this. God bless.

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Dear Joann, Oh, those lies come in so quickly. And He can protect us from them. He can turn our hearts around, bringing hope where there is despair. Praying now for His healing and hope to fill you sister–and I pray for community–people He has chosen for you–to surround you so you see His face in new ways. Much love to you. I am so thankful we can gather together here.

  • Donna Torrado
    Reply

    Why do we so easily believe the lies others tell us but not what our Father tells us? This is a struggle. Cane we ever overcome?

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Yes! The lies of the culture are powerful, but our God is more powerful. His truth heals. And his love brings hope. The first struggle, of which you are aware, is being aware of the lies in the first place. But it is almost always very difficult to discern the lies we are believing. The first step is asking God to search our hearts and help us recognize what truth is being hidden from us–what we are struggling to believe, and what lies we have tucked away and accepted as true. And praying, in community, helps a great deal. Sometimes, a friend we trust can listen for us when we are having trouble listening ourselves. And then we break the lies–give them to Jesus, and ask Him to replace those lies with his truth.

      We live in a battle field. And that’s okay. We must equip ourselves with the armor of God so we can thrive here, our God within us and by our side.

  • Rebekah
    Reply

    His words through you are bringing me healing. Thank You~

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Hi Rebekah, I am so grateful to hear this. Bless you, sister!

  • Danielle
    Reply

    This is beautiful & right on time. This explains my thoughts so much with constantly having thoughts of worry, discouragement & feeling inadequate. I sometimes struggle with believing God’ promises are for me or that I’m even worth it.

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Sweet Danielle, I am praying for you now, sister. I know this place . . . so well. And our Father does not leave us here. He lavishes love upon us because He wants our complete healing. He will never stop pursuing you. He shepherds you, guiding you toward Him so we you surrender lies you have been believing–lies that prevent you from experiencing his love for YOU. He stays close, dear one. You are so loved, so adored. And He will help you believe it. Just keep listening. Be raw. Be real with him. And wait and watch and listen and respond. There is much He wants to say.

  • Rosalyn
    Reply

    This was so timely…last month I participated in a on-line bible study it was entitled “She’s still There”. It spoke to the person we were created to be, and in most cases it’s the little girl that we used to be before we listened to everyone’s opinions.
    Once again this reminds me that God sees me so differently regardless of my flaws I wish I would embrace the woman My Heavenly Father see.
    Thanks for the reminder!

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Hi Rosalyn, That sound like an amazing study! Yes, I find that so fascinating how, when I am led back, with Jesus, to remember my true heart, I am so often brought back to me, as a young girl. I love how Jesus continues to purify us. Have you listened to this song? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvsAV-MgGao I love the lyrics . . . especially the prayer to “take me back to the beginning” and what He does, in response. Let me know what you think!

  • BENITA
    Reply

    How awesome is our God.
    After my marriage of 32 year christian marriage broke up. In 2011. I felt like giving up. With a sense of worthlessness ,not being enough, ugly, (he took a woman 17 years his junior) as a wif and mother/grand mother.
    Yet, God gave me another chance at life. This teachibg encourged me in pursuing my joy in Christ.
    THANK YOU

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Benita, it so amazing and beautiful how are held, precious and safe and adored, in the arms of our Father. I pray His continued blessings of peace and hope and joy and and healing and renewal upon you, dear sister. I am so glad you’re here.

  • Susan
    Reply

    Beautiful yet sad because it reflects how many of us feel and what we believe. Reading this brought me to tears and led to pray so that I could commune with He who created me. Thank you.

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Dear Susan, Yes, it is beautiful. And yes, it is sad. And our Father cries with us, pursuing us relentlessly, in His love. He continues to lavish His love upon us–He can’t help it, as He IS love. And through his love we are changed. He does not want us to stay in this place. He has so much more for us. And He promises to show us so we can surrender our lies to Him and experience his life of hope and love. Bless you! I am praying right with you.

  • Rosemarie
    Reply

    Thanks. I needed to hear that message. Bless you for being faithful.

  • Bambie
    Reply

    Thank you so much for sharing what God gives you. I just said this morning to myself…remember whose you are. So guilty of feeling like my words don’t match up with my heart. Enough….it’s time to please my Father by believing that He loves me as much as He says He does! Every day! Especially when the enemy is telling me I’m a hypocrite. That is not my Fathers voice. He is singing over me. It’s nice to know we’re not alone on this journey. Thank you ahain. I love your heart. Many times your words have brought breakthrough. Thanks for your obedience.

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Bambie, it is so wonderful to connect with you here! Your words bring me so much encouragement. I love how you say, “Enough.” Yes, let’s fight together for our hearts, our Father within us and by our side! Love to you!

  • Theresa Boedeker
    Reply

    Love the idea that self contempt keeps us from seeing the real us. The self God sees. Even others see. Once again we must keep telling our self God’s truth. And often daily.

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Hi Theresa, Yes, daily. Yes, let us lean into Him, practicing the habit of trusting His eyes, His heart, so we can adopt them as our own! Much love to you, sister! So delighted you’re here!

  • Vicki Dixon
    Reply

    This is the struggle I am having right now. I feel worthless, isolated and a sense of failure in every area of my life. I buried the pain for a long time so I felt no emotion. I’m letting myself open up to feel it so he can heal it and I can find freedom but its hard. Im trying to trust God when He tells me who I am and how much He loves me. And I know He does. Thank you and bless you.

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