preparing for confession

It took about a half hour, but I wonder if I’m not done yet. Searching my heart. Writing down the things never confessed. Preparing to share them with a friend. There is more, I’m sure. So I will return to the list. Ask God to search my heart again. Show me what I hide from myself, and from others–what shame, what sin. I trust what He brings to my mind and invites me to take to the foot of the cross.

“Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed” (James 16, MSG).

Confessing my sins to a friend is not going to be easy–or fun. But I know it will be good. It will be a step toward owning who I am without God. It will be saying yes to freedom. It will be letting Jesus love me, knowing I am forgiven.

What I write down has a sting. I have heard a person tell me this–that confession, true confession, should have a sting to it. I write down sins, things I have done, with specificity. And I aim for no blame. I need to own each thing I have done. Blaming, charging another person for something I have done, separates me from owning my own sin. It prevents me from even seeing it. And it makes me a victim in my own life.

Brene Brown explains how “blame is the discharging of discomfort and pain. It has an inverse relationship with accountability. Accountability by definition is a vulnerable process.” And, with my prepared confession, that’s what I am trying to move toward. Accountability and vulnerability. I am hoping that in my confessing to a friend, I will be rejecting shame and the impulse to hide my sin–from myself, and from God. I will be standing naked, taking my sin to the foot of the cross. And letting Jesus love me in the middle of the mess.

I know that Jesus’ death–the power and love of the Cross–destroys sin once and for all. But I need to take this step to help my heart believe it.

This is the second post in a series on seeking healing for self-condemnation. Subscribe to join me. I can surely use the company, friend.

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  • Beloved you help me so much with all you do and share, thank you and bless you for your friendship
    One of your recent podcasts made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, in a good way, every word was God speaking to me, only through Holy Spirit could that happen, you can trust His life in you and yours in Him, it shines out from you like a beacon

    Peace and every good

  • This is hard because I don’t have anyone that I feel comfortable enough to confess my sins too. Someone that I feel won’t condemn me. That’s something I am truly going to have to think about.

  • Twice in the past year and a half I have had the privelege of participating in a small group of women with a Pastor that didn’t know any of us. He was there basically to help lead us and answer any questions and be of spiritual help if needed, but otherwise he was quiet. We opened up and were brutally honest, sharing past sins that were still bothering us even though we knew we were forgiven. many of these were things we had never told anyone. We had communnion set up, and after each of us spoke and cried and got that/those sins out in the open, we took a piece of the bread and threw it in a basket and at Jesus’ feet. After we were all finished, and wiping tears away, and finished hugging each other, we prayed and took communnion of the remaining bread and the juice. It was so liberating and the love was so full. It was an awesome experience!

  • thank you jennifer for sharing your heart and your honesty is so refreshing and your words fill me with hope that when I feel I can’t make it jesus is right there with me in the mess and his truths are what I cling to and the way of the cross. I love how your words draw me close to God. thank you