what hope looks like: poetry in a pandemic
Light is shining. I can see it. Covering my skin, entering my heart. I breathe deep. Let air move these lungs. Day five of shelter in place and every one of these days I leave my house and walk. The dog needing to get out is my excuse–but really, I need the walk too. My heart needs solace. And I find it in the strolls around the neighborhood, meeting, at a distance, at least a dozen people each time–always on other sides of the street–out walking too. We smile. Say hello. And there is a knowing, a comfort, somehow, in the shared experience. The world, as a whole, feels closer, smaller now. And not because we literally can’t go far from our homes–but because our attention has turned.
God, You are good. You are doing something good. Even though it is difficult, now, to understand.
I am hungry for the stories being written now–the stories of people searching for God–this virus disrupting the life we once knew. Our ways of relating. Our pace. Our values. Our ways of seeing the world. A myriad of opinions and challenges. Suffering and smiles. Pain and hope.
A few days ago, on a video on Instagram, I shared a conversation I had with God. It was before the shelter in place was in effect, and yet I woke up feeling uncertain, uncomfortable, pushing back fear. I wrote in my journal:
Father, it feels dystopian—this world right now. There is so much fear. I am fearing, I realize, that the world my kids grow up in–maybe raise their kids in—will be vastly different and unfamiliar than mine. I feel like something is being taken away—innocence, naiveté? I feel a hardness wanting to develop in me—and that is unfamiliar too. It is an unwelcome feeling. I don’t like it; it doesn’t feel right.
It was good to be around friends yesterday, but there is so much pain and suffering now. Please heal this world. It feels like an old world is dying—and I am confused about how to feel about it. I feel myself tumbling a bit into complacency and negativity—like, what’s the point of hope if everything is going to get worse before You come back to rescue and redeem and restore this world? I am scared. What is wrong? What is broken? Will You fix things—mend things that are broken before You ultimately come? Or will You let things fall apart—until all is destroyed and then You come, ultimately, to fix it?
If everything is just going to get awful, will You please come now before it gets any worse?
Father, what do You want me to do? What do You want me to think? What do I pray for? Whom do I pray for? What is Your plan? What are You doing? How do I wait on You in this turbulent and unsettled place?
And this is what He said to me:
I want you to hope. I want you to fight alongside Me. I want you to keep your gaze on Me. Do not break gaze. Do not silence your ears. All is not breaking. In the morning the sun is rising. The lies are destructive—telling you fear is more important than hope. You know how to encourage. You know how to look to Me. Do that now. Stand fast, daughter. I’ve got you. I’ve got your family. There is more beauty coming. All will be restored. Walk with Me to bring hearts to see it. Speak hope. Speak joy. Speak connection and love. Love. Love. Love. Shine with my strength in you. The lie is that all things are falling apart—but I am making all things new!
And I remember His words to me on January 1st, when He shared with me the word He invites me to cling to this year: still. When He told me the word, and I asked with what it meant, He gave me words to explain what this looks like for me, in my life, to live this way. and what His role will be as I trust in Him.
and still I will stand
and still I will wait
and still I will trust
and still I will believe
and still I will move
and still I will grow
and still I will be
for still you are with me
for still you wait
for still you love me
for still you adore
for still you sing over me
for still you believe
for still you stand with me
for still you do not leave
I heard Him say stillness is “deep knowing, peace within you, even in moving. This staying steadfast even in storm requires grace–and acceptance of strength within you. This year will require resilience and malleability, and then steadfastness and strength. So bend and move and be still within, and this is how you will experience peace–and Me.”
For this week’s Loop Poetry Project prompt, let’s give room for our hearts to share how they are feeling in the midst of this unusual time. Let your heart tell a story. Let it speak to you as a person right in front of you, explaining to you, through imagery, description and concrete detail, how it is doing. If you’d like to focus on a word, I encourage you to write on this topic: hope.
As you consider writing your poem, please leave a comment here to let me know how you are doing. And/or, let your poem do the explaining for you–and share your poem below. That would be wonderful! If you’d like to share your poem on social media, please use the hashtag #looppoetryproject. And click here if you would like to join the Loop Poetry Project private Facebook group. Your heart has a story to tell. I can’t wait to hear it. Please leave a comment! (My poem is below.)
with much love and hope,
jennifer
11 Comments
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Good morning
I received calls from my mom In a panic that schools have closed in nyc for 5 weeks , my family calling because this has not ever happened before , I see the panic and fear in the stores as people get food and cleaning supplies , while here I thought it wasn’t that serious .. I have been in constant prayer and God have me this word .. he said now I have the worlds attention .. now people can see the impact of a small thing, now people will stop their busyness , travel will be reduced so running away won’t be an option, they will have time to be with the ones they love , they will learn to be still , they will learn to turn and lean on me , people will help others , check up on family and friends , take a breath and appreciate its value , more importantly they will learn how important the life I gave them is with the time they have here . Purpose will be found , love will be restored , and the appreciation of freedom will be cherished .. he is the way , a healer , deliverer , our safety in the midst of harm, peace in the midst of chaos , hope when all looks gloom.. it’s time we hate childlike faith as I watch kids go about their normal day with less care than adults .. he said a child will lead us .. they trust all will be well .. it’s time to be still and know .. God is sovereign and his hand is on us today and always .. he has already won .. live like you know .. choose faith over fear
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Gloria, thank you so much for sharing your heat–His words through you. What encouragement and beauty and hope are offered here! Having the faith of a child is something I am paying attention to, as well. Gather us under Your wings, Jesus; we want to trust You more.
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Jen I do not hear from God as you do. The words He spoke, the words He gave you, thank you so much for sharing. So much. I wrote them all down in my book and as I wrote, internalized them deep into my heart and soul.
His words, your sharing them with us, with me, gave me such comfort and put in my mind a reset of all Gods goodness in my life both past and present. Reaffirmed that yes, yes indeed He still and always will be our great and mighty God.
Thank you.
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Thank you for the encouraging words!! I pray every day too to the world to get back with God- thank you again Sandi J
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Gloria
So love what you wrote about God using this to stop our constant busyness and focus instead on Him and loving others. Thank you for sharing with us.
And Jennifer your poem was so beautiful and touched my heart deeply. The picture you painted of Hope’s eyes looking back, waiting for a call to return had tears streaming down my face. You are an amazing woman and writer. Thank you.
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Wow! I was so blessed to read this, to hear your hearts. To hear what the Lord is saying, I was just sitting here looking out my window at the trees and thinking they have not changed, as the world around me is swirling in such confusion, fear, uncertainty of what is next. The life we’ve known surely was abruptly changed. I work retail, greeter at the door. The first day after announcement from President, I had a hard time keeping a smile on my face as I watched so many hurry in to find toilet paper. 🤔 As the days went by I felt fear, anxiety, confusion surrounding me.
Some were joking about it all. I realized the Lord had been preparing me for the days ahead and I needed to stay in confidence, share peace over others, encourage them, pray for them. I started seeing shift in some, in speaking to others my heart became stronger. I was reminded by the Lord the journey I’ve been on this past year and He gave me this scripture. Isaiah 14:27
All the forces of darkness cannot stop what God has ordained.
God is still on the throne, He is never changing, the same yesterday, today and forever! He Loves us so much!! He has great plans for us! I see the field very ripe, time to bring in the harvest! 💞
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In my alone time with God earlier this week. What kept calling out from deep within me was HE IS GREATER ♥️ And I made a long list of everything He is greater than… and I found plenty of peace in this. In knowing. HE is greater! xo
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Dear Lord Jesus, I pray that we will “See” the “Bigger Picture” as we are brought to almost a standstill in our daily lives. My prayer for all of us is that we will “believe that You have everything under control and You have our best interests at heart. I pray that we ask You everyday, what is it Lord do you want me do to help others, to encourage them assist them anyway we can. We all have to do our part. Thank You Lord Jesus for Your love, mercy and grace.♥️
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I welcome each morning with listening to the shofar sounds. It drives the darkness away and reminds me of our soon coming King. There is tremendous vibration going through me as the horn is blown. I sense Jesus ever so near. Majestic, roaring lion,
penetrating eyes, full of love and power. I whisper His name over and over and peace floods me. I begin to pray in the spirit, tears flowing, deep sobbing. Not sure what I prayed until suddenly I hear myself interceding whomever Holy Spirit puts on my mind. Praise and worship break forth from me and deep gratitude and thanksgiving follow. Love, faith and joy soar and carry me higher. Strength, His strength is infused into my veins. Drinking deeply from His fountain of life,I am ready to give and pour out that , which He so freely gave to me , upon the ones He sends my way. My heart sings: „Your presence is Heaven to me“
I am intently setting my focus on Father God, chewing on scripture and praying for discernment . I am careful with my words. I refuse to listen to media and negative talk. I stay informed only enough to know what or whom to pray for. When a blanket of heaviness tries to push me down, I start praising God and call on Jesus‘s name. He has won the victory and I am to be salt and light. Trusting Holy Spirit to speak words of encouragement and hope through me. Not my words but the Lord‘s. There is power in the blood of Jesus. I decided to have communion at home as often as possible. Jesus will be present. It will remind me of all He has done for us and the victory that was won.
After a gruesome last year, where I was almost homeless, with no job, poor health and barely any money, the Lord stood by His promise to never leave me nor forsake me, that He would not leave me helpless. Just when the pandemic started, I got a job and am still allowed to work. I have a little place to live in now too. My earnings are meager but I have been blessed . God is sooooo faithful,. He provided for me with such tender loving care when I thought all was lost. My faith was so shaken but Holy Spirit continuously brought me encouragement in various ways.
🙏🏻🎶🎶🕊❤️😊
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Jen, thank you for sharing your heart and God’s response! I’ve experienced the same fear, anxiety and ambivalence. I’ll be starting a new job in a week and all that’s going on has made this transition different, for lack of a better word.
As I prayed through my feelings and tried to make sense of what is going on in our world, in our communitites, I felt God reminding me of who he is and who has been to me.
Things are changing at such a rapid pace, but he never changes. He never fails. That is what he wants me to cling to; Christ in me, the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27).
How amazing is it that you are near to us, Lord.
It is your desire to draw us close.
Your great pleasure and delight is to love us and call us friend.
With overwhelming compassion, you incline your ear to us, hearing our cries. You give loving tenderness as well as correction and direction.
And it is all so that we yield ourselves, our desires to you. It is to our benefit to exchange our plans for yours. Your plans are good and exceed far beyond what our finite minds can handle.
How amazing that the God of the universe, Lord over everything wants a relationship with us!
He wants to feel our love for him.
He wants to have our trust.
He delights in our faith in him.
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Such beautiful encouragement and heart felt words from each of you 💛
Thank you for sharing and for this platform to read and contribute Jennifer.
He is the same yesterday today and forever and no thing can separate us from His love. Glory to God in the highest heaven!
Everything just changed for us here today as the government seeks to manage the unknown. Everything is different beyond our control but to you Lord nothing is out of your control. You are still on the throne. King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
Lord our HOPE is in you. Make your self known. You said if we would draw near that you would come near. Oh Lord we need you near. May we find you ever nearer in these days. May we draw near. May we find you, hear from you and grow deeper and deeper in communion with you. May your kingdom come and your will be done. On earth as it is in heaven. Hallelujah! Our God reigns 🙏🏻