a step toward waking up to your life
There are days when words are hard to find. We search for them in books, where they huddle together, mute and coy, asking us what we want of them this day. When we struggle to gather them up, recalcitrant circus performers unwilling to perform tricks, put on a show, we take a peek around the less obvious places, the tender places that still hurt from rough exchanges with people, or ourselves. What is it we are feeling, thinking now, we wonder? And how do we articulate it? And why do we want to?
There is so much effort, isn’t there, in saying this is what I think, this is what I feel. We wonder if the words we pull from those deep places within us are true, if they can be trusted. Is what I am saying accurate? What story am I telling? What is the line between fiction and nonfiction? True and make-believe?
The process of writing what we see, what we know, what we feel, what we believe, develops creativity. We do our best–sometimes using fiction–to tell a story our heart has always known as true. And this process develops self-awareness. Sometimes we have no idea what it is we want to say–or we are convinced there is truly nothing we want to say. Yet the process of using language to create–give voice to an emotion, give sound and sight to an observation–activates our mind and heart. It wakes us from our slumber, our passivity. It helps us notice subtle beauty as well as concealed terrors–all the things that make up our lives.
Don’t we want to live fully awake–have muscles developed that give claim to what is happening around us, to us, within us? Putting pen to paper, fingers to keyboard, lifts us from apathy into action, submission to assertiveness. Friend, it is time to wake up.
If you have never written as a way to process your feelings, or better understand your actions, today is the day to start. Living more attentive to your feelings helps you access your heart, which is the beginning of healing, the invitation for God to come on in.
So for the prompt today for Loop Poetry Project, begin with where you are or where you’re not, with what you know or what you don’t know. Write about what is making you think, what is making you wonder, what is making you worry, what is making you dream.
There is no wrong or right, no letter grade or gold star. Only possibility. Only adventure. Only trial and error. Only hope and good things ahead.
Tell me your experience with writing. Do you write regularly? Is it something you enjoy? Is this experiment something new that you are willing to try?
If you decide to dive in (yay!), consider sharing your writing with the Loop Poetry Project community. You can do this here, in a comment below, or in the project’s Facebook group. (Click here to join.) If you share your writing on social media, make sure to use #looppoetryproject as your hashtag so we can find you!
Happy writing and seeing what unfolds!
love,
jennifer
At the Party
Unmoved
I stand on the periphery
of feeling
I am somebody
who knows the rules
of small talk
to feel connection (to connect)
and move with
the current of people
mingling
enduring judgment:
Am I beautiful?
Interesting?
Will I make you laugh?
In my dreams
my worst nightmare
is being frozen
in one spot
my mind hating
my body’s refusal
to flow confidently,
mold itself into the
the shape of the room
cause a riot,
laugh so loud people
will turn and stare
—in a good way
and I can watch
myself swimming
in circles,
the water heavy
against my legs,
my arms,
every limb
(I am in both places now)
watching, wishing,
imagining, belonging
and hating myself
as I care.
12 Comments
Permalink
Wow! I had to read it twice. It’s so crazy how earlier today, I was just talking to God about how I need to come out of my shell. Not understanding why it’s so hard for me to connect and meet new people. Feeling so strange as well, being every job I had dealt with serving people. Why I can’t just open in a different arena. It’s just like your poem, the feeling of uneasiness because you wanna come out of yourself and engage with others, but feel you won’t be accepted.
Permalink
Hi Pamela, I am so happy the poem resonated with you–that you found yourself connecting with it. Believing with you that God has designed us perfectly and that if He is nudging us to step forward, into a new place with Him, He will give us what we need to do it. (And who we are, right now, is the daughter He loves.) Bless you! I loved hearing your voice here!
Permalink
Writing has been therapy for me. I have dozens of journals packed away from my younger years. When I would have an inquisitive dream or thoughts I didn’t yet know how to process, writing them out on paper was just as therapeutic as sharing them with another person. Actually it was better than sharing with another person, becasue I had no fear of judgement or shame When writing to myself. There’s always been so much to say. Sometimes my thoughts would crowd my head and there’d be no room to think Any more. So I’d unload the empty thoughts to clear my head. They’d spin around in an insignificant sequence and would clutter my mind. I suffered with obsessive thinking as a youth and young adult and if I didn’t unload all the Mumbo jumbo unto a back up drive somewhere, it would consume me. Journaling became that outlet for me. I don’t suffer like that anymore. I Thank God. For so long I wasn’t able to filter the good from the bad. What was real and what wasn’t. What was god and what was the devil. What was truth and what were lies. My mind became the devils playground. Today, Thanks to my lord and savior, I’m able to process my thoughts and trust my gut. I limit what and and who has access to my mind. I surround myself with honest and kind people and try to fill my spiritual gas tank up as full as possible. I now am able to trust my own intuition and gut feelings more, which I’ve come to learn is God pulling on my heart. And nothing or no one comes before my relationship with God. I am grateful
Permalink
Margot, wow, I so appreciate you sharing your experience of using writing as a tool to help you navigate thoughts and feelings that were otherwise too much to hold. And thank you so much, as well, for sharing your wisdom and evidence of a faith matured by trusting in Him and the deep healing He has available. So encouraging and beautiful.
Permalink
I am so enamoured by all that has been posted. It has encouraged me to begin writing a journal. I have always wanted to write but thought that I couldn’t. I am somewhat of an introvert, well I am one, and feel like writing in a journal would help me to receive much needed healing in my heart. Thank you Jennifer for your poem, it so spoke to me as well. And thank you for encouraging us to write.
Permalink
Sonja, this is wonderful! I am so excited that you are going to try this! I am an introvert too–very much an internal processor–and writing has helped me tremendously in the accessing of my feeling. (I am also a 3 on the Enneagram, so that working on being aware of my feeling is something I must always be especially attentive to.) Bless you as you begin this beautiful journey! I hope to hear more about how it goes! So glad you are part of this community here!
Permalink
Thank you for this post. I haven’t been writing as much as I did but I do find that writing down my thoughts and my feelings help me to process. I go back and read it again when I am done and see if I am making sense. I usually write my thoughts out to the Lord and ask His help to understand what I am feeling. To help me process and guide me in ways I need to go or work on what is troubling me.
I too write poetry.
But one of my favorite things to write if acrostics. I love taking names or words and write out what each letter represents in my mind about the word or the person. I have been doing this for a long time on and off but it has become more and more a focus in my life.
Permalink
Hi Donna, I too find it incredibly helpful to think of my writing as a partnership with God–engaging with Him as I write, and turning the words over to Him for His interpretation. I love hearing about your affinity for writing acrostics! That is awesome. I have never done that and appreciate learning about it as a helpful tool. Thank you!
Permalink
The watching, the insecurity, the doubt, and no self-love! I know my heart and mind struggle with this. A trap of the adversary I know for sure. This is exactly how I feel at times when engaging within this world! And yes, the trickery of words can be misleading. However; they can be used for good and not evil! These words are good for me! I can relate but when response time comes, I can’t find the words to match my feelings. Jennifer, you have captured my heart because I know that you speak from God’s heart! I receive all your writings personally like God is speaking to me. This reminds some of the movie “An Officer and a Gentleman.” I see myself signed up in God’s Army and have been awakened and must learn how to connect with others through the Officer’s guidance. Through this sometimes painful, uncomfortable process, I discover what my desires are, which are also God’s desires!
Permalink
Writing had always been therapy to help me process all the stuff. I journaled my prayers every morning to keep me focused. Writing & being strengthened in my faith & life from others is such a gift to me too. 5 years ago I felt God say start a blog & share your story. So I did. Just for Him as I never thought anyone would read it & care. English was not my thing! Lol for the past 2 years, not much at all had been written. Mainly because God’s had me in so many different places & busier than ever, but amazing. But He had also been growing me in scary places! To follow Him into areas others won’t understand. And guess what?? WRITING keys coming back up in our morning prayer time. And I’m hesitant. I am afraid of the opposition that my new freedom & learning will bring, but at the same time I hear Him saying that there are many who will get it & will be edified and see Him in it all. This is very vulnerable writing about moving beyond what I’ve always been taught in a particular denomination & fearing the ones I love & cherish will hear my heart behind the words.
Permalink
Hi Jennifer, thank you for sharing this article. At the beginning of 2020 I went through a 100-day devotional at which lead me to start writing a blog. I have never written professionally before and my first thoughts were I do not have anything to offer. But then there is God, saying yes you do have something to offer and I am asking you to share it. In March I published my first blog post, I review Christian podcasts that are helpful in developing your relationship with God and your calling. If you are interested the blog is called The Godly Pod Review. Your article is very encouraging and I am going to give journaling a whirl. Grateful for you sharing your gifts!
Permalink
A step
I tell my feet to move
simultaneously
willing them on
yet tucking them under.
Am I free if I go or free to remain?
Your whisper, a fleeting visitor
a knock, an opening
and I spend a second too long
reasoning
and remain where You left me
deliberating.