What You Need Now

It’s the waiting that is hard. Sometimes it’s the waiting for healing, physical or emotional. Sometimes it’s the waiting for hope, for the darkness to lift, for the sun’s rising in the morning to feel like possibility, not another opportunity to worry, to wonder if this day will be any different than the next.

It is heavy, the ache of lost hope. It has a smell, too–like decay, sometimes covered in the masquerade of new clothes, a tired smile, a pretend “fine” when it is the last thing  you feel.

Sometimes we ache for what’s next when what’s right now is actually what we need.

What You Need Now

For months I was waiting to move back into our house, to be in the space I know and love. And now that we have moved back in, days before Christmas–and workers are almost out of our house on a daily basis–I am waiting for my arm to heal; I broke it while skiing on New Year’s Eve.

It is difficult to accept that a broken bone, the forced slowing down, the inability to do all the things I am craving to do–get organized after vacation, write for hours everyday, work out on the rowing machine–might be a gift.  I have felt tired of waiting–waiting to be home, waiting to have things settled, waiting to have time to think and listen and write. But what I can still do–and what I need to do more than anything else now–is sit in the quiet with my Father and let His voice pour into me.

Of course I want to move quickly and efficiently–get things done when I want them done. But maybe it is better that I can’t.

Surrendering control–even being forced to it–is a gift I needed. I am accepting this, bit by bit.

When you have exactly what you need--even when it doesn't feel like it.

It was His words that made it all okay–easing my frustration of wanting things done the way I want them done. I was pulling on jeans this morning with one hand, wincing from the pain of bruised ribs and legs. We were unpacking from our trip, piles of clothes heaped below the washer in our kitchen, a mattress on the floor in our family room, where our oldest sleeps until the railings are built on his loft.

Wisdom from friends echo the words of the Father. “Listen. Wait.” And I realize how precious it is to be forced to slow. So, for now, I will try to be patient–listening for His voice without always wondering what’s next.

What hard-to-recognize gift is before you right now?

Showing 19 comments
  • Yolanda
    Reply

    I’m so sorry about your arm but my what a blessing to be able to rest. Life is just so busy.
    My mom had her middle toe amputated on Christmas day from a foot infection that turned into septicemia. We are just so grateful that it was only her toe & not her whole foot. God still works everything out for our good 🙂 She has been booked off work & also needs to rest. Please pray for a speedy recovery for her & I will do the same for you dear sister. Thank you xxx

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Hi Yolanda, Oh , I am so grateful the amputation was not her whole foot. I imagine she must be in a lot of pain. Praying for peace and rest and healing, dear sister. And I am grateful for your kind words sand prayers!

    • Tracey
      Reply

      I lost my job unexpectedly after months of desperate heartache for my marriage only to be ended by separation. I just got settled into this home with my boys after feeling God swung doors wide open to make it happen and setting up a budget to make it day by day and then the request came yesterday to step into management’s office after just returning from a health scare and unplanned surgery and then a letter placed in my hand and then a box put in my arms and a walk back to my office while someone watched me place all of my items in a box and walked me to the door with no explanation at all. Yes, this is the unexpected place I find myself sitting in and I struggle to lift my head let alone find a way to move on. But three boys are counting on me…….your writing has been following my life for almost 9 months now and sadly today as well.

  • Sandra Harris Brewer
    Reply

    Jennifer, thank you for your obedience to our Lord! I ask if you will please keep me in your prayers, I’ve been and still am going through a very dark time for the last 5 years. I know God’s got me, but I am so weary and struggle with depression daily. Would truly appreciate for to stand in the gap! Thank you again, Sandra Harris Brewer

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Dear Sandra, You are so loved, sister. I am so sorry for this darkness you feel covering now. Standing with you, declaring His light. So grateful for His closeness now. He does not leave you.

  • Hannah Weir
    Reply

    Thank you for sharing that. I am in the mode of waiting too, now and recognizing that this is a good place. God wastes nothing…even when we think nothing is happening. for me, certain things seem to have been at a standstill for a while. I am learning to now view this as wasting time but as a time to listen to and for Him. Blessings…He is indeed our covenant keeping God!

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Hannah-your wisdom, “God wastes nothing,” is what I needed to hear. Yes! Thank you–and bless you!

  • Cathy Huff
    Reply

    Thank you for sharing this Jennifer. I am in waiting mode myself. I left an old job in November right before Thanksgiving to start a new one and I ended up getting very ill, had to quit and take care of myself until after New Year’s. My old supervisor called me while I was recuperating and asked if I would come back. I agreed as my family needs the income. Since I have been back, I feel out of place. Wanted, yet not wanted. Needed, yet not needed. I’m waiting because I had a telephone interview on the 3rd for a position that starts on the 9th and I haven’t heard a word since. Sometimes, I can wait without fretting and worrying; however, the past couple of days have been tough. The enemy has been very busy and I know that the breakthrough is getting closer! God bless you Jennifer and I pray for swift healing for you!

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Sweet Cathy, praying for His presence to fill you and energize you. Yes–let’s lean into His good plan even when we cannot yet see it! Bless you with His hope and love and goodness as you wait on Him and see Him coming.

  • Karen Shoemaker
    Reply

    I have a friend who, on Dec 2 several years ago, with all the shopping/cooking/decorating/DOING of Christmas ahead of her, shattered her right ankle by stepping down into her garage “just wrong” on her right foot. She spent the entire month of December and part of January on the couch, unable to go and do. She said it was the best Christmas ever. 🙂 Her husband and teenage daughter did the decorating, shopping and cooking and it was good. It was enough. She sat on the couch and crocheted and read and looked out the window….and was still. Oh, for all of us to have that kind of time thrust upon us – because you KNOW we moms won’t take it unless there’s no other option – to just BE. Be still and know. Cherish this time of inactivity. Dwell in Him. Sit at His feet. Enjoy. <3

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Karen, the beautiful truth of your words has me in tears. Thank you, sister. Much love to you.

  • Dolly
    Reply

    Jennifer,
    You continue to be in my prayers. I’m thankful that God is meeting you right where you are as you surrender to his good plans, though unexpected from your point of view, and you know, I get it. Been there, and still there in some areas of my life. Praying healing and joy for you. ((hugs)) Hope we see you Saturday?

  • Ginny H
    Reply

    Hi Jennifer,

    So very sorry to hear about your broken arm!! But also happy to hear that the Spirit is giving you wisdom & peace in the midst of this “unplanned event”!

    I will pray against the destructive tactics of the enemy and that you’ll hear the Lord’s whispers of love over you when you start to feel carried away by negative thoughts. It’s so easy to get on that slippery slope, going down the “black hole”, as I call it. But Jesus is so much bigger than all of that. I know….I’ve been praying for an unsaved husband for nearly 34 years out of a 37 year marriage. God is and has been SO faithful. He will be your Healer, your Provider, your Sustainer…..and more! Keep trusting, dear sister.

    • Jennifer Camp
      Reply

      Ginny, you bring me so much love and hope! Thank you so much for your blessing and loving wisdom! So grateful. Bless you and your marriage–your heart as you continue to trust in Him!

  • Ginger Q
    Reply

    Jennifer,

    I am sorry to hear about your arm but am truly grateful for your obedience to God to rest and allow him to speak to you while you are “waiting”. It seems recently I have been in frantic mode either by doing, worrying or just plain overwhelmed and I keep running into the words “Be still and know…” I will hear it in a song or through a sermon or a devotional. I have tried to just stop, take a breath and look up to thank Him for the gentle nudge but sometimes He has to smack my hand to get my attention. I will keep you in my prayers, I know you will keep me in yours. God bless you, Jennifer

  • Rachelle Craig
    Reply

    Jennifer, I am so sorry to hear about your accident! I’m so thankful it’s not worse! You will definitely be in my heart and prayers! On a brighter note, I gave copies of Breathing Eden to some of my beautiful Sister’s In Christ for Christmas, and each one of them absolutely love the book! I still keep my copy close by, and listen to the audio book while driving! ?❤

  • Ruth-Anne Hayes
    Reply

    Hi Jennifer!
    So sorry you are suffering. Your ministry is blessing me abundantly. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia five years ago. God put the brakes on my hustling and bustling and I am desperately trying to surrender to His gift of being. Just being. He recently gave me the gift of teaching a women’s Sunday school class. We read The Happiness Dare together and Jennifer Dukes Lee blogged about your book Breathing Eden. I received a copy and can’t get enough. Many of the women in my class have purchased copies. May God bless you for blessing us! Streams of Living Water are pouring from you and quenching many. Don’t stop. You have a gift. ♡

  • parimala Mauritius
    Reply

    Jennifer I am sorry to hear about your accident.God let this happen and He is in control. You need rest.Byressting look around you the love of your family ,Friends neighbors cares You will thank God. For their love . You will be joyful.Sister I thank you for the loop lessons you have inspired me a lot.Have a good rest You are in my prayers

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